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Meet Bevo

Who Blinked?

September 19, 2013

By Joey Bland

I think I beat a steer in a steering contest. Scratch that. I think I beat a steer in a staring contest. But I guess if you had a steering contest, one of the events probably could be staring, so maybe they’re one and the same. I mean, what does Bevo, the University of Texas mascot, do but stare? He is a tranquil animal. He stands very still. And he stares. He’s good at it. Loads of practice.

Meet Bevo

But to repeat, I think I beat him.

We locked eyes for over 90 seconds, and then he flinched. The beast flinched. I know he did. His handlers couldn’t believe it, I think. Because when he flinched, so did they. Bevo pulled his forehooves back, and he gave a great big shudder. His eye contact dropped, and his whole body trembled for a second. So he flinched. He looked away. And so I won, right? Isn’t that how you win a staring contest? The other guy looks away?

But his flinching really threw me, and like I said, his handlers were thrown as well. I think Bevo losing his cool and dropping his stoic demeanor scared us all more than if he’d stared for days. He broke character, but I’m not sure that means I broke him. I think he’s playing mind games with me. It doesn’t matter that I made him look away. He’s the one that shook me. And so that’s how it is, I guess. You cannot beat Bevo. He is all brawn, and yet, his brains beat me.

So maybe I lost.

Really? He blinked, and I lost? I’m confused, and now I know what it’s like to face Bevo, the University of Texas Longhorns, and their sea of burnt orange fans. They get in your head, and you just can’t win.

And even if I did win? Even if him looking away means that I beat him. Even if he lost, who’s gonna tell that 2,100 pounds of iron flesh? Not me. No way. I might’ve won. Man may have conquered beast, but if Bevo asks…tell him I said he’s the man.

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